Hahahaha! Yes folks. I have a missing ovary. No it's not floating around my body like some serian starship. And yes it is probably spitting eggs at random organs. How does such a thing happen? Apparently cause I got my tubes tied. Yup. Here's the story....
So I've been having random pelvic pain. Most importantly it happens at the most (ahem) inconvenient times. It can really dampen a moment. Anyhoo, things just haven't been right since I had Drew, so after 4 rescheduled gyn appts (yes 4, 1 for each kid, plus 1 for my phone that randomly pushed ALL my appts back an hour after the time change) I finally see a doctor. We do an ultrasound (yes one of THOSE ultrasounds for which you leave feeling violated) and viola! I have a very nice strand of graduating sized pearls around my right ovary. The left ovary? Don't know. Can't find it. Is my doctor concerned? Nope. Probably hiding behind my colon he says. Good deal. Who needs it anyway? I certainly don't. It was a little over eager anyway if you ask me. I mean seriously. 3 kids in 5 years? It shoulda gotten lost a while ago....
So here I am, not a fan of synthetic hormones, surgically infertile, and I'm back on birth control pills for hormone suppression. I'm sure there is a lesson in all of this. I'm not quite sure what it is. But hopefully it will take care of the cysts and I will no longer have moments of (inopportune) pain. YIPEEE!!!!
And I Dashed yesterday. As in muddy, filthy, awesome, sometimes terrifying, fire leaping Warrior Dashed. And it was awesomly awesome. So awesome I have to keep saying awesome cause its all I got for an adjective right now. The weekend didn't just end awesome, it started that way again. Chris and I got some very much needed time away. So it started great and ended great. That is until cranky Nicci came out. Tired and cranky Nicci is very unpleasant, so we'll just leave it at that.
And maybe I'll upload some pics. We'll see.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Meet Lily
A few of my good friends from high school will remember that at one time during my Junior or Senior year I was writing a novel. Like 30 chapters in I quit. I remember a certain Emily being quite furious with me.
Seeing as though I don't really have anything that I can share in my blog that pertains to the upheaval that is my current life, I will introduce you all to Lily. She is my first character. This is an unedited first draft of your introduction to her. Your feedback is essential...
Seeing as though I don't really have anything that I can share in my blog that pertains to the upheaval that is my current life, I will introduce you all to Lily. She is my first character. This is an unedited first draft of your introduction to her. Your feedback is essential...
Lily turns the shower on full blast and steam immediately starts to envelope her bathroom. She loving touches the sky blue glass tile she and Mike spent hours laying, grouting, cleaning, swearing, and laughing over. A secret smile plays on her lips as Lily remembers making love to her husband on this half tiled floor with mud on her cheek. Their love was so new then.
She places her glass of Chianti on the vanity counter as she starts to undress. Lily takes stock of her body in the mirror. “Well,” she thinks to herself, “not bad. My breasts could be perkier. Definitely carrying a little extra muffin around my middle and my ass isn’t as plump either. But not too shabby for a mother of 2 in her 30s. A bikini could be in my future. Ha!”
Self assessment complete, she steps into the blistering hot shower. This was heaven on earth for her. Spray so hot you could barely tolerate it and your skin turns so red you look like a steamed lobster. Lily simply stands under the shower head for a bit while she goes through her mental checklist for the following day. Lucas’ lunch? Check. Amanda’s dance bag packed? Check. Dinner for tomorrow in the crockpot? Another check. The final check on her list was her lunch. Lily frowns a little to herself as she tries to decide what she wanted. Coming up short Lily thinks she’ll just eat out. This complete, she grabs her shampoo. She smiles as the scent of coconuts drifts to her nose. Mikes favorite. Lily closes her eyes as she massages the soap into her scalp and down her long light auburn hair. Her mind is blissfully empty as she rinses her hair and opens her eyes. Staring back at her are eyes so blue they are almost transparent. Lily screams, but no one hears her…
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Alyssa's trials and tribulations
A fair number of you know that my firstborn was born with tetrology of fallot. It's a heart condtion that includes three heart defects. This is important because at the age of 3 months and weighing just over 9 pounds, she had open heart surgery to repair them all. As a consequence of this surgery, her pulmonary artery valve was removed. So she needs a valve replacement. We found out when she was 2 that a portion of her repair surgery failed and she now has a 3 centimeter aneurysm in her pulmonary artery. I'm sure we can all agree that was a sad day in the Labrecque household...
So she's been holding steady the past 3 years. The aneurysm hasn't grown, her cardiac output has been good, and she doesn't appear to have any abnormal heart rhythm. The reason for todays blog it to update all those who were wondering on her status. It appears as though her complications may be progressing. At her yearly checkup with her cariologist it looks like the right side of her heart is starting to enlarge from all of the extra work it performs daily pumping the deoxygenated blood to her pulmonary artery that is without a valve and had a 3 cm buldge in it. I mean really, this is no surprise. I am shocked its taken 3 years to tell you the truth. I've been walking around all this time waiting for the shoe to drop.
There was also an incident in school that may have been nothing or may have been something depending on which teacher you speak to. Alyssa was walking down a crowded hallway and stumbled. One teacher though she almost fainted, the other thought she simply lost her balance. What really happened? I couldn't tell ya. I can tell you shes tired all the time. I mean we go outside to play and she has to take rests. I hate it. It makes me so angry. Not at her. At God. At the universe. At myself for not creating a physically perfect human. So she wore a holter monitor for 24 hours to check her rhythm. For any of you with kids, you know this was a challenge. Needless to say the leads kept falling off, the school nurse put them back on incorrectly, and by 9:30 thursday morning they were all off and monitoring was done 2 hours early.
We are now waiting to schedule a repeat MRI (her last one was 3 years ago. So was her last cardiac cath, which is another rant for another day). This will let us know for sure (hopefully) if her heart is enlarging and if her surgery needs to be pushed up. Cause yeah, she needs another open heart. And we knew this. But damn does it hit me square in the stomach when they say it. Every time. I think I'm prepared. I go into her appointments with a bad attitude. That I'm going to get bed news. Because the last time I had a positive attitude they told me my 2 year old had an aneurysm. Try not crying in front of that very same 2 year old and her 3 month old sister in the carrier next to her. Not an easy task. So now every June I'm a force to be reconned with. I'm easily angered. I'm quick to cry. Basically I'm a nut case until her appointment. Then I settle down for a year.
Here's the other part. The part you aren't supposed to talk about as a parent. The one that even as I type this I know I'll be judged on. But heres the thing. I've always been honest and I won't stop now. When the doctor tells us he wants the MRI sometime this summer I think "crap". I;ve got big things happening in my career this summer and early fall. Promotions in my job are few and far between so being in charge of a new machine is huge. And I've put in hours of work. Hours on prep with our new computer system we put into place for this new machine. I go to Las Vegas for a week long training seminar the second week of August. And now I wonder what's gonna happen. Chris tells me to try to not think about that. That we"ll cross that bridge when we come to it. But I can't help but feel angry about this too... And then I feel guilty. I mean, I'm the mom. This is the most important job in the world. On the flip side I get so much satisfaction out of my career. So I'm conflicted.
So basically I'm sad, angry, conflicted. And Alyssa doesn't have a care in the world. She doesn't really know whats going on. Obviously that will all change soon, but I don't want her to worry. She's sensitive and it would worry her.
That's the update. And now I'm gonna hang out with the infamous Amanda Cormier...
So she's been holding steady the past 3 years. The aneurysm hasn't grown, her cardiac output has been good, and she doesn't appear to have any abnormal heart rhythm. The reason for todays blog it to update all those who were wondering on her status. It appears as though her complications may be progressing. At her yearly checkup with her cariologist it looks like the right side of her heart is starting to enlarge from all of the extra work it performs daily pumping the deoxygenated blood to her pulmonary artery that is without a valve and had a 3 cm buldge in it. I mean really, this is no surprise. I am shocked its taken 3 years to tell you the truth. I've been walking around all this time waiting for the shoe to drop.
There was also an incident in school that may have been nothing or may have been something depending on which teacher you speak to. Alyssa was walking down a crowded hallway and stumbled. One teacher though she almost fainted, the other thought she simply lost her balance. What really happened? I couldn't tell ya. I can tell you shes tired all the time. I mean we go outside to play and she has to take rests. I hate it. It makes me so angry. Not at her. At God. At the universe. At myself for not creating a physically perfect human. So she wore a holter monitor for 24 hours to check her rhythm. For any of you with kids, you know this was a challenge. Needless to say the leads kept falling off, the school nurse put them back on incorrectly, and by 9:30 thursday morning they were all off and monitoring was done 2 hours early.
We are now waiting to schedule a repeat MRI (her last one was 3 years ago. So was her last cardiac cath, which is another rant for another day). This will let us know for sure (hopefully) if her heart is enlarging and if her surgery needs to be pushed up. Cause yeah, she needs another open heart. And we knew this. But damn does it hit me square in the stomach when they say it. Every time. I think I'm prepared. I go into her appointments with a bad attitude. That I'm going to get bed news. Because the last time I had a positive attitude they told me my 2 year old had an aneurysm. Try not crying in front of that very same 2 year old and her 3 month old sister in the carrier next to her. Not an easy task. So now every June I'm a force to be reconned with. I'm easily angered. I'm quick to cry. Basically I'm a nut case until her appointment. Then I settle down for a year.
Here's the other part. The part you aren't supposed to talk about as a parent. The one that even as I type this I know I'll be judged on. But heres the thing. I've always been honest and I won't stop now. When the doctor tells us he wants the MRI sometime this summer I think "crap". I;ve got big things happening in my career this summer and early fall. Promotions in my job are few and far between so being in charge of a new machine is huge. And I've put in hours of work. Hours on prep with our new computer system we put into place for this new machine. I go to Las Vegas for a week long training seminar the second week of August. And now I wonder what's gonna happen. Chris tells me to try to not think about that. That we"ll cross that bridge when we come to it. But I can't help but feel angry about this too... And then I feel guilty. I mean, I'm the mom. This is the most important job in the world. On the flip side I get so much satisfaction out of my career. So I'm conflicted.
So basically I'm sad, angry, conflicted. And Alyssa doesn't have a care in the world. She doesn't really know whats going on. Obviously that will all change soon, but I don't want her to worry. She's sensitive and it would worry her.
That's the update. And now I'm gonna hang out with the infamous Amanda Cormier...
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