For the love of the job

So I've been thinking about this blog for about a week now. I'm not an everyday blogger like Carrie but I do think about it often. If that counts for anything.
Around the time of my high school reunion I was treating a young man for a very rare, very aggressive cancer. He He was in a great deal of pain. We knew we couldn't save his life but we were really trying to alleviate his pain. He came in with his wife. Sometimes his mom came too. I think his young son came one day as well. I was about five months pregnant almost six. I had to wait to find out the sex of my baby until I had a special ultrasound done because of Alyssa's heart defect. Two of my coworkers were also pregnant and were having boys. I was wicked jealous.
Anyway, this patient told me he had a special talent for being able to look at a pregnant woman and tell her the sex of her child. He told me I was having a boy.We talked about our families. He had an older daughter from a previous relationship. He spoke so highly of her. He was so proud to be her daddy. He was the type of patient that we all get attached to and we did. When those of us in the cancer center that took care of him heard he was on the floor and it didn't look good we all planned to go visit him on our lunch. He passed before we could. I've always regretted not getting there to tell him his streak continued. He had correctly guessed the sex of my child.
When all of the dust settled it became known that his daughter is also the daughter of an old classmate of mine who I had recently gotten into contact with. We saw eachother at the reunion and I held her while she cried. I cried too.
I had this realization that people have this opinion of my job. That it's depressing. And sometimes it is. I was very sad when he died. Some of them hit u that way. And I go home, pour myself a drink and toast to their lives. But most of the time I'm happy they are gone. That their pain has ended. That cancer can't eat away at them anymore. Death is the ultimate win. Cancer cells can't grow when ur dead. They can't hurt you anymore. But that's my opinion. I don't expect people who have lost loved ones to cancer to agree. And I have lost people as well. But I digress.
My whole point is that patient gave me something a hell of a lot more powerful than I ever gave him. He helped me and my friend connect on a deeper level. And through her I've made some excellent new friends. Would we have gotten here to his place without him? I don't know. Maybe. But I think it would have taken longer.
I'm so blessed to do the work I do. I get much more back than I give. Even though my patients disagree. They help me keep the world in perspective. Their greatfulness for the care they receive is never ending. I have the best job in the world.
I just thought I'd share this story. Privacy was never broken. I never shared personal info about him. He was open about his treatment. I'm really just stating this to cover my ass. As breaking privacy would get me fired.